Such an unfortunate part of being a woman today is how often, and how many of us, feel that our bodies don’t measure up.
One of the biggest ongoing battles in my life, has been learning to accept and appreciate the package I’ve come in. I thought for so long that my vagina was ugly and abnormal, particularly the piece of inner flap that overhangs on the right side when my outer flaps are closed.
With the unrealistic expectations thrust in our face on a daily basis, it’s hard not to feel inadequate and body shamed. We’re constantly being told we’re too fat, too thin, our boobs are too big, they’re too small, we don’t have thigh gap, our ass is too flat…
This body shame also extends to our vaginas.
Not long ago, I was at a bar talking with a friend about her sex life. While she was happy with her boyfriend, loved having sex with him, she felt that her vagina was ugly. Because of this, she worried that when her boyfriend went down on her he would think it was sloppy.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard similar pussy shame stories from friends. Too many women are self-conscious of their vaginas, or even believe they are ugly.
Why Do so Many Women Feel Ashamed of Their Vaginas?
Unlike men, our bits aren’t hanging out there in front of us to view on a daily basis. Unless we position ourselves over a mirror, it’s difficult to get an accurate picture of what’s going on down there.
Therefore, we can plausibly go days, months or even years without really seeing what our nether regions look like.
Unlike men, we also don’t stand at urinals and don’t have an everyday point of comparison. We therefore aren’t exposed to the immensely varied and unique variety of vaginas out there.
Prior to having sex with women, the only vaginas I saw were anatomical images online or in books, cartoon illustrations and porn. None of which provide an accurate representation of the many different forms in which vaginas exist.
Vaginas are as unique as the women they are a part of – they come in different variations of colour, size and shape. All of which are totally normal.
Your Vagina Is More Beautiful Than You Think
Layla Martin created a video that fills my heart with joy. She invited women to have their vaginas photographed, and look at the images. She then recorded their reactions, and the reactions of their lovers.
She wanted to show women how beautiful their vaginas are, and highlight the difference between how a they viewed their bodies, and how their lovers viewed them.
Watch it. It’s beautiful, just like your vagina.