Squirting or gushing during sex does not have to mean a wet bed with soggy sheets. By having safeguards in place, you can avoid the fluid produced through female ejaculation resulting in a mood-killing post coitus clean up.

When I first started to she-jaculate, only a small out of liquid came out. I’ve found over time that depending on what sexual position I was in, what was stimulating me or how long it had been since I’ve last had sex, I could either gush a river or dribble a few droplets.

For some reason I’ve never felt the need to pre-warn any lovers that my yoni had the capacity to spurt fluid. I even spent a number of years in denial about it. Whenever I would have sex with someone new, I’d think “Oh, I probably won’t squirt this time” yet every time I orgasmed, I did.

It’s only been in the past few years since being with my awesome partner, that I’ve found ways to manage it the squirt without constantly wetting the bed and staining the sheets and mattress.

Here are the ways I’ve stopped my gushes from wetting the bed:

The Waxed Table Cloth

One day whilst wandering around a craft shop, I saw some waxed table cloths. A light bulb went off in my head, and I thought that would be a great option to control the fluid, and keep the bed dry.

PROS: A waxed table cloth is easy enough to find, it works relatively well for light gushes.

CONS: It’s not that comfortable.

We were also using this for squirt clean up whilst living with housemates, who wanted to know why there was always the same table cloth on the clothes line (not the most discreet of options).

The Plastic Bag and Towel Combo

Necessity is the master of invention, and one night whilst staying at a B&B, we had forgotten to bring the aforementioned table cloth.

We grabbed a spare towel, laid it on top of a plastic bag and presto – makeshift bed protector.

PROS: An immediately accessible option, as you are likely to have a spare towel and plastic bag on hand, and can grab it at the last minute before you get down to funky town.

It’s also a good option whilst traveling, as a travel towel is very absorbent and folds down to fit easily in your bag.

CONS: If the plastic bag slips out from under the towel, it’s either going to stick to you (peeling it off your sticky thigh is a bit of a mood killer) or you’re going to get your lady juice on the bed anyway.

You’re also restricted to the circumference of the towel/plastic bag, and need to make sure you are positioned over it at the key climactic moment.

The Shower

PROS: This is a no brainer, all the fluids go down the drain with the water. You can relax in knowing there won’t be any spillage.

It’s also a good option for first time sex, sex in someone else’s house and holiday sex. 

CONS: I love sex anywhere and any how, but shower sex just isn’t my fave. I prefer to have sex lying down so I’m more relaxed, and don’t need to worry about getting soap in my eyes or slipping over.

I also find it a bit harder to come standing up, but that’s just me. 

Other Things to Have on Hand

Wet Wipes

These little puppies are so handy. Keep them on the bedside table for a quick post romp wipe down.

A Glass of Water

I always feel a bit parched after I’ve squirted. And as with any physical exertion, it’s always a good idea have some water on the bedside table to re-hydrate post coitus.

Waterproof Mattress Topper

Before making the waterproof mattress topper discovery, I used to have to have my mattress professionally cleaned every six months or so (not exaggerating – it gets expensive. I gave up one time and bought new an entirely mattress).

A waterproof mattress topper is such a worthwhile investment, and there are plenty of great ones that aren’t too pricey.

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