Since this blog went live in February of this year, several awesome things have happened. These include (but are not limited to) being named Kinkly’s Blogger of the Month in May and being invited to guest blog for the wonderful folks at GODEMICHE and Take Back Your Sex.

Another wonderful thing that has happened as a result of running oh gush has been the sex toys I’ve been invited to test out and review.

My First Experience with a Sex Toy

Prior to venturing into the wonderful world of sex blogging, my exposure to sex toys was limited to say the least. My first foray into the adult accessory world took place in my early twenties, when one day after work I fianlly summoned the courage to visit a sex shop. I was a poor university student at the time, and just wanted to look around for curiosity’s sake. I didn’t actually think I would buy anything, as spending some of my measly part time income on a frivolous dildo purchase would leach precious pennies from my weekend boozing fund.

With no prior sex toy experience, I asked the shop assistant to show me a few different models. She obliged, even taking some out of their packaging to demonstrate their function and to explain how they worked. After 15 minutes or so, I could tell she was losing interest and wanted me to hurry up and buy something or leave, so she could go back to twiddling her thumbs and texting her boyfriend behind the counter.

Feeling pressured and out of my depth, I settled on two of the cheapest and least intimidating vibrators.

The first was an egg shaped vibrating bulb that connected to a hand-held control by a flimsy electrical cord. I should have known this was going to deliver a disappointing mastubatory experience; the oversized and uncooperative oval bulb was completely impractical. It was awkward trying to keep it comfortably on my clitoris, and inserting it into my vag was futile and unrewarding.

The second sex toy I purchased was surprisingly cheap. The purple cylinder had a medium girth, and had about a thousand different speeds and pulsations. I was sure that the number of settings was equally proportionate to the level of sexual gratification I was going to receive from my new a hand held electronic device. I felt like I’d hit the bargain jackpot of sex toys.

I hurried home anticipating I would spend the rest of the evening orgasmically blowing my brains. Alas, after flicking through its frantic pulsations and beginning to fear it might burn my bean right off, my new plaything broke down. I flicked its switches some more and it let out a few dismal zaps before carking it completely, leaving me feeling as dejected as a wet hen.

In hindsight, I should have realised that anything labelled “novelty back massager” packaged in something that could have been confused as containing liquorice allsorts probably wasn’t going to deliver earth shattering results.

Don’t All Lesbians Use Sex Toys?

The next ten or so years would see me giving up on the idea of incorporating sex toys into either my solo or partnered sex life.

Two out of my three longest relationships have been with partners who weren’t interested in additional bedroom accoutrements, and having not had much luck in my prior sex toy encounters I didn’t bother to propose otherwise. `

I recently disclosed to a couple of close friends that prior to early this year (pre-ohgush), my sex toy experience was next to non existent, and I was met with surprise or looks of disbelief. “You’re a lesbian though? Don’t all lesbians use straps on? Or dildos at least – you need something that’s like a dick don’t you?”

Actually no, not necessarily. There’s a hell of a lot of amazing sensation that can be given using your hands and mouth, and more to the point sexual gratification comes in many forms to different people. I.e, there’s are plenty of ways to achieve sexual satisfaction that don’t require a phallic instrument.

However, in recent times I have developed a deep appreciation for the new sex toys additions I’ve acquired.

Using dildos and vibrators on the reg, has also led to a new discovery I otherwise would not have found:

 I Can’t Squirt with a Sex Toy in My Vagina

My partner and I recently discovered that I’m not able to squirt whilst my vagina is filled with a phallic object. Fingers on the other hand (see what I did there?) don’t seem to get in the way, despite being like smaller, more dexterous versions a dildo.

I’m not saying I don’t squirt as a result of using a vibrator or a dildo – it’s truly amazing what mad orgasm-inducing skills some toys have – but my yoni fluid is not able come out whilst a phallic object is in my vagina. My partner has to remove the dildo in order for me to gush. If she doesn’t, my vaginal muscles demand satisfaction and push it out of me to allow the squirt to flow.

As can’t say from personal experience if it’s actually possible for the female ejaculate to be released while a penis is inside my vagina. Being in a same sex monogamous relationship means that the only D in my life these days is synthetic, and during the years when I did have sex with men, I hadn’t yet discovered my ability to squirt.  I therefore called on a she-jaculative friend in a heterosexual relationship to comment: She also confirmed that she can’t squirt whilst a penis is inside her, and she needs to push her partner’s penis out with her vaginal muscles in order to gush.

I find this truly fascinating. I also haven’t found any articles, or anyone discussing this interesting aspect of female ejaculation and I wonder from an anatomical perspective why this happens, and if it happens this way for all women who squirt.

  • Could it due to the fact that in order to squirt my vaginal muscles have to contract so much that my lady cave can’t  accommodate anything more than a couple of fingers?
  • If squirting comes from the urethra (and not the vagina), why does the vagina need to be vacant for this happen?

Until someone in the medical and professional world takes female ejaculation and squirting seriously enough to deem it worthy of proper investigation, I’ll just continue playing with expanding sex toy collection and be baffled by the inner workings of my vag.

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